Alf Garnet replied: "The police were the easy way to find out, but since they are useless tossers you need to find an alternative. Try phoning the DVLA, they might be able to help if you explain the situation, if not, I'd just keep my eyes peeled for this git, and if you see them, go after them!"
david s replied: "is there any law against posting for requests of sightings of vehicle on Ebay by listing as a DO NOT BID auction. e.g. You auction a picture of the damage of your car for 99p stating in header description details of Offending vehicle.
"Photo of damage done by Silver Mercedes ?????? please help"
Please check Ebay rules first (you may find owner emails you to ask you to remove listing)"
HOW ABOUT THESE OLD ONES ? A guy walks into the local welfare office,
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're puttin' me on!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied; "He didn't hang himself; I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"
More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telline the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
Blondmusic replied: "I have heard the first joke before but the rest were fantastic LOL. U can have another star for them. Cheers LOL."
αвυ- ℓιfє'ѕ gσσ∂ replied: "HAhahha! These are your best ones for a while now."
Sassy Kat replied: "Funny and interesting!
The world is full of idiots."
lovely replied: "nice*"
celestial star 5^[]^5 replied: "your old jokes are my new jokes because I've never heard any jokes more funnier"
Dream interpretation my hand got cut off.? something was wrong with my hand so my mom cut it off my mom put my hand in a can of coke and then into a plastic bag and then put it in the freezer. although my hand was missing i could still feel everything and use it.
we then left the house to go get it fixed and on the way i saw my girl friend ji soo, and my friend eugene i went down the elevator to what seemed to be a mob hideout where i tlaked to a man who seemed like he owed me something ( a mobster probably was my friend) he kept changing the subject and telling me to go to some unfamiliar place to get it fixed.
i was then seperated from my mom and was walking down the street when i saw a very fancy police limo. someone stepped out of the back seat of the limo (a cop "official" or some important cop) and ran to another cop limo (one that looked more coppish black and white). Then seeing my chance i ran into the limo he had just left and closed the door (somehow i ended up in the front passenger's seat). The driver for whatever reason thought i was the important cop and asked me where to go. I told him to follow a car (although i don't remember why or who was driving it). He obeyed and turned on the sirens to chase the car. I remember the sirens ran down the middle of the windshield almost to the bottom and the lights were in the windshield. AS we were chasing the car i could see the driver smiling and felt that he was onto me. when he took a sharp turn chasing the car, i opened the door and hopped out, landed on my feet and started walking away. however, i was soon being chased by the cop "official" who had went to drive the other more ocppish limo. As he suddenely started to chase me i ran to a mercedes stopped in the middle of the road. I opened the front driver's door and found a man sitting there just spacing out. He looked at me with a look of mild uninterested surprise (a blank face). I grabed him by the collar and threw him out of his car. I remember as i was getting into the car that the keys were on the seat of the driver's seat (the place where i usually leave my keys when i get home) but i ignored the keys as i was in a hurry and just sat on them. I then turned the ignition without the keys and the car started( i was relieved, i thin the reason i thought this would work was because of my experience with grand theft auto). I remember i started driving without closing the door because the limo had just started to chase me. I reved the engine hard and started up this big hill. As i was going up the hill there was a car coming down. it swerved into my lane so i swerved into the opposite lane, it then swerved back, so i swerved into my original lane. It did it one more time and swerved in to my lane again i quickly swerved out and missed it and drove off. i then drove back to my mob friends hideout where i had a talk with him one more time which i don't remember as being productive. i then called my mom wiht my sphone and it died. so i borrowed one of the mobsters( my friends) phone and called her. She answered and i met up with my family in this field were there were lions and lionesses roaming around.There were five people my mom my sister a small kid and these two big martial artists, when i got there my mom and the two kids were watching a t.v. in the middle of the field, and the two martial artists were doing some kind of task. I walked up and hung out for a bit then said that we should go fight lions. One of the martial artists seemed very happy that i had said that ( i had a feeling that he was my master and he had a very big potbelly). so then we all ran down the field to where a group of lions were. The other martial artist lunged in and i didn't really notice him after that. however a lion started to attack my sister. Despite my earlier experience of losing one hand i started to grab the lion with two. suddenly the lion let go of my sister and started to attack me. i could feel its teeth popping my hands like grapes. i remember i kept one hand grabbing the area between its two bottom mandible's and i started trying to choke it with my other hand (the one that was supposed to be missing). I then woke up.
If any one can interpret this dream i would be very thankful. First time in a LONG LONG time that i can remember my dream this vividly.
we then left the house to go get it fixed and on the way i saw my girl friend ji soo, and my friend eugene i went down the elevator to what seemed to be a mob hideout where i tlaked to a man who seemed like he owed me something ( a mobster probably was my friend) he kept changing the subject and telling me to go to some unfamiliar place to get it fixed.
i was then seperated from my mom and was walking down the street when i saw a very fancy police limo. someone stepped out of the back seat of the limo (a cop "official" or some important cop) and ran to another cop limo (one that looked more coppish black and white). Then seeing my chance i ran into the limo he had just left and closed the
sidsid replied: "I would not worry unduly about it.
The hand represents fate and the house represents you life. The chairs in the back ground are just their for support and even if they had no cushions they would keep you off the floor.
The back of the horses head is really nothing to do with your dream and only came in to confuse you so that you would forget about the fruit cake.
Incidentally, did you remember to put the cat out......it was on fire."
Tam D replied: "Hi,
Hand: It's in your hands now. Lend a hand. Ask for a helping hand.
Mother: Is part of the self that knows what's best. Pay attention to the advice Mom gives in your dream. Your own maternal instincts.
Cut: the desire or need to cut someone or something out of your life, a separation. Can also point to cutting painful remarks, cuts like a knife.
Freezer: Frozen emotions or ideas. A cold person. Putting some issue in cold storage.
Car: shows how you are traveling through life or through a particular situation. A speeding car is a good indication you need to slow down and take it easy in waking life. It's always good to be in the driver seat, it means you are in control.
The hill: can symbolize a goal, an obstacle or even your life. You always want to find yourself on the hilltop or climbing towards the top as that means progression and success.
Road Side is you are side tracked. Off the beaten path. Non conformity.
Phone/Phone Call is lines of communication. May be telling you to say what you need to say and/or listen to what needs to be said.
Field is enormous potential for growth.
Lion is courage, bravery. It may be time to roar, show who is king of the jungle.
Movie: This is your life. A projection of your true attitudes, behavious, etc. Get the picture. May mean more action, less observation.
Sister: What qualitied does your sister have? Do you need to utilize thos qualities in your own life?
Teeth most often symolizes your words. Hurtful..
The GF and other friends can sometimes be playing themselves or can symbolize a particular quality that you share with them. Can also symbolize a part of yourself that you like.
The Mobster is your masculine self, the part of your personality that is asseritive, takes action and makes decisions.
Hope that helps, and good dreams to you :)"
I disturbed 3 hoodies breaking into a car last October....? I was driving home and passed the local kebab shop which had 3 policemen in. There was also a police van outside. About 100 yards later i arrived at my house and noticed 3 lads acting suspiciously next to a new mercedes, i walked up to them and asked what they were doing and they legged it, i chased them for a bit but they were well away. i immediately called 999 and got through to the police. i explained what had happened and i said that there were 3 coppers in the kebab shop 100 yards away, if they could be contacted then these thieves would definately get caught. i was informed that they couldn't do this and they would get someone to investigate. I gave my name and details and waited for someone to call. In the middle of December (!) there was a knock at the door. It was a police officer wanting to speak to me about the car break in and could i give them a description!!
With examples like this, do you think the police are effective in tackling crime anymore?
They had a piece of wire down the window.
I'm in England by the way and it seems that our police force is at least as intelligent as the American force, in as much as they seem to be unable to write correctly.
To the American officer...Yes, the police are entitled to a lunch break but when a crime is being committed during that lunch break it still counts you know?
I don't stop a business meeting for my lunch when the clock strikes one, why should you. Do soldiers stop shooting for lunch and dinner?
"Hello, fire brigade"
"help, help my house is on fire and my children are trapped upstairs"
" OK madam, i'll send an engine after 2pm when the lads have finished eating, see you in an hour"
You are an emergency service, to protect the people, prevent crime and to arrest, charge and convict criminals. At ANY time, not just office hours!!
Jeez!
terapatrickismywife replied: "The police are only there to pick on ethnic people. They don't actually do any real work. When our car got nicked, the thief dropped some possibly identifying papers in the car and when we pointed them out (when the car was returned by joyriders), they didn't care."
Laird C replied: "In which country do you life?"
deadman replied: "To be fair to the police these little hoodlums are not enough to worry about, they are overstretched and underpaid. Cops are entitled to a break and its likely a law that they have to take a break every so often as they generally work 10-12 hour shifts.
Don't get me worng I get what your saying, they are useless when it comes to certain crimes, but be assured if they had the resources they would deal with it.
When it comes down to it they do their best, even if at times it doesn't seem good enough."
snikleback replied: "This doesn't surprise me one bit.A neighbours little girl aged 11 was kicked to the ground but a gang of 6 girls all aged between 15 and 17 at 5:30pm.They purposely stamped on the girls knees causing her to have a tricky operation to repair major damage.Her parents phoned the police at 5:45 when the child,who was less than 5 minutes away from the house crawled home.Baring in mind the police station is less than 5 minutes from our houses it took the police over 3 days to contact the parents after which time the only CCTV footage from a local shop,had been deleted (taped over)It makes me despair of the police ,no wonder no-one has any faith in them anymore and people take matters in to their own hands."
Googlyworm replied: "I had my car stereo nicked once, police couldn't do anything. About six months later they said a guy had confessed to it to reduce an upcoming sentence so they were unable to take the matter any further. Then before they left they gave me the guy's name and address and a "nudge nudge, wink wink - you should pay him a visit"
How useless and crooked is that?"
Devi replied: "unfortunately the police have to report to "first priority" calls...however since the police were probably on break or something the dispatcher should have called them...especially since they were SO close to the scene of the crime...that, in my opinion, should not be happening....sometimes it is not the polices fault and sometimes it is...we have to remeber who they are reporting to..."
I'm Sparticus replied: "You can only do you best in this messed up world."
Jean-Luc replied: "Why would the police want to get involved with an actual CRIME? Criminals might actually cause paperwork.
No - it's far easier to sit in a lay-by and nick otherwise law abiding members of the public for doing 67mph in a 60 zone at 5 in the morning on a stretch of dual carriageway with light traffic on a dry, clear day. Now THAT'S REAL POLICING!"
TRACY H replied: "i had mt car windows smashed and the police caught these kids and nothing was done"
T-Bone35 replied: "First off Terapatr...is a pathetic loser! I'm surprised that you did not put that the cop's were at the local donut shop while you were out preventing crime, superman! Your lucky that one of these hoodies didn't turn around and shoot you or gut you like a pig.
Does your job provide you with time for lunch? It's sad that cop's are not afforded that luxury! Too bad that those cop's turned off their ESP while at lunch and could not sense that a crime was being committed 100 yards away. Shame on them!
Those same cop's are the ones who allowed a parent to molest their child behind closed doors only 500 feet away on a different day. Again ESP turned off.
As a police officer I just want to thank you so much for your courageous act of stupidity.
Ride with me sometime and see the amounts of thugs, guns and drugs I take off the street! or base all police on your one brush with them.
Note: Allow them to have lunch just like you get!
"Hey Joe! Did you see that Citibank group over at the Kebab shop? They were eating lunch! Ya! I can't believe bank employees get lunch! Ya, yesterday I had to write a loan for myself cause they were all eating. "
"With examples like this, do you think the banks are effective in tackling banking anymore?"
true_blue_canadian_copper replied: "Standing around a new mercedes and acting suspiciously is not a criminal offence. Did they damage the vehicle?
In my city our dispatchers will not call us off of lunch for something like this (especially if the suspects have left the area). Here, getting called off lunch costs the department 1.5 hours of overtime for each officer. Were they eating or investigating something? They will not be called off a in-progress investigation for a suspicious persons complaint.
And what if they were called off lunch or whatever they were doing? Best case scenario would be that they find the lads walking around and question them. Running away from a person who asks them what they are doing is not evidence enough to arrest anyone."
Bear replied: "First things first........ Police officers do eat... like other normal human beings!!! Why is it if I call in the supermarket to buy my lunch / dinner, or call in a local takeaway... I get funny looks??? Why is that? Am I not entitled to eat or have a meal break? And to clarify further....... no I can't turn around and say I'm not attending an incident just because I'm on a meal break. I've often left meals to attend immediate incidents. And may I add without complaint.....Its the nature of the job.. life in a disciplined service I say and accept. Some colleagues may not agree but this is just my opinion.
To answer your question more directly... yes I do agree that the response to the incident you outline was disappointing. What were the officers doing in the takeaway? Were they at a more pressing incident? Assault / affray? Or were they simply having a meal? In any case the call handler should have at least contacted them to see if they could resume or release an officer or two, or attempted to get someone to this incident, which would have been graded as immediate (if they were breaking into the car). Other resources may have all been tied up at equally graded incidents (which is often the case). If it makes you feel better write a letter of complaint to the forces Chief Constable and air your views.
What I don't want you to do is be so disheartened by this that you never ring up again to report a similar incident. We rely on people like yourself to give us information that will help bring offenders to justice. Yes I agree there are plenty of instances of poor service, however there are equally plenty of instances of excellent service.
The difficulty we have is that like many public services we have to work to a tight budget. The government are to blame..... too many PCSO's and not enough officers (and no I'm not slating PCSO's in any way, but I believe its officers we need!). There's also too much red tape and paperwork. Scrap National Crime Recording Standards..... why tie officers up recording and dealing with crimes where there's no complaint. Lets spend more time on people who need our help.
Anyway sorry to rant on..... I for one want to give a good service to the public and feel shackeled by beurocracy. I think the effectiveness of the police is limited but not for want of trying. The criminal justice system also needs a bloody good shake up.
Here endeth the rant... sorry!!"
dodge66trio replied: "Not familiar with how things work in England, but in America calls are typically dealt with based on priority and the number of units currently in-service. I'm from a high crime area, and an alleged misdemeanor criminal mischief call would not be considered a high enough priority to recall units who are on their lunchbreak if no other units were in-service. Doing this would just further increase the shortage of overall units on-duty and if a high priority call (life-threatening, immediate danger, violent crime in progress) came in, they would be unable to respond. Where I'm from we routinely get more calls for service than we have cars to immediately respond, and yet a police officer still needs to eat his lunch like everyone else. You respond to the highest priority first and work your way down the list."
nattynoo replied: "How do you know they weren't on a job there?
Some of these answers are ridiculous most of you probably don't like the police cuz your shits and law breakers!!"
sarah1962 replied: "just keep calling them, if you are in danger, also get CCTV, that will protect you more, all the best"
Lynsey C replied: "They were probably serving the kebab shop owner with a speeding ticket!"
Do you think the Paparazzi has gone too far or is this all part of being a celebrity? Four paparazzi arrested for reckless driving while chasing Britney Spears have been released on bail, police in California said.
Roberto Maciel, 31; Leandro Gomes, 30; Filipi Teixeira, 27; and Eduardo Ravalah, 34; were questioned and released on 5,000 dollar(£2,500) bail each, Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Officer Jason Lee said.
The situation began on Wednesday evening when officers observed several cars following a white Mercedes Benz in the Los Angeles district of Mission Hills.
Paparazzi who follow Britney Spears 24/7 got into a high-speed chase with the pop star late Wednesday night in the San Fernando Valley, prompting police to arrest four photographers on suspicion of reckless driving.
And when Spears was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center two weeks ago, so many photographers, celebrity reporters and onlookers crowded the hospital entrance that patients and hospital staff had trouble getting through.
In response, Los Angeles law enforcement officials are beginning to crack down.
The LAPD is developing its own "zero tolerance" policy, using the state vehicle code and traffic and loitering laws to cite photographers who block traffic and lay siege to neighborhoods.
bwmorency replied: "No, the media needs to serously lay off her. It stupid."
MARK replied: "THEIR OUT OF CONTROL, THEY SEEM TO BE ABLE TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT!!"
Amanda luvs waluigi replied: "yes I feel they can go too far"
Michael9 replied: "Out of control"
Candy C replied: "Yes they do go too far and tragedy happens aka Princess Diana. They need to slow down in their approach and when the celebrity says that's enough leave them alone."
Can YOU Believe ... The Most GLORIOUS THING Just Happened?? 4 paparazzi arrested for chasing Britney
01/17/2008 4:00 PM, AP
Four paparazzi have been arrested for reckless driving while chasing Britney Spears' car in the San Fernando Valley.
Los Angeles police Lt. Mario Munoz said officers observed several cars following a white Mercedes-Benz around 11:30 p.m. Wednesday in Mission Hills.
The cars were following Spears' car too closely and traveling at unsafe speed. They also made several unsafe lane changes, authorities said.
Munoz said officers stopped the Mercedes, interviewed Spears and released the 26-year-old pop star after verifying her driver's license.
But the four photographers in the cars chasing her were booked for investigation of reckless driving.
UPDATE BY REUTERS:
Los Angeles police spokeswoman Sara Faden said the four were among a group of paparazzi seen driving at high speed in the Mission Hills area of the city around 11:30 p.m. on Wednesday on the trail of the troubled singer.
"Britney Spears was part of the group, but was not driving recklessly," Faden said. She said four men were booked for reckless driving and each ordered to put up $5,000 bail.
Spears told police that one of the cars, which she could not identify, may have tried to run her off the road.
Spears, 26, has been trailed by paparazzi day and night for several months as her personal and professional life has fallen apart following her divorce from Kevin Federline and bitter battles over the custody of her two children.
rulsgrl replied: "how is that wonderful?
seriously, Im not defending them, but they are only doing a job. A job that is created by all us buying the magazines, and gossiping about her, we create the hysteria of celebrity gossip.....we all cant look away, me included."
GirlwitFantasys replied: "thats what they deserve"
laurenleannsattler replied: "Thank god! It finally happened. I have always said that they're way too aggressive! I love Brit, and I don't want them killing her like they did Diana."
evilokami replied: "lol"
angelguide replied: "What is so glorious about that?
I thought you were about to reveal the arrival of the Messiah."
Indigo replied: "Well good, the paparazzi act too crazy sometimes.
But I question why she is even allowed to drive currently. I mean...Miss talking-with-a-British-accent lately... Unless she's being stupid and doing that stuff for attention, yeah, uh, that is definitely a mental break right there. Seriously, she has no business being out anywhere, she needs to be getting help."
Haley replied: "That's not wonderful....besides Brittney drove with her one year old son on her LAP, with picture proof, and she didn't get arrested, just another piece of proof of how celebrities aren't treated the same way in the law non famous people are."
poetica replied: "I'm lovin' it!
Paparazzi are annoying lowlife. Most of them should be arrested."
In this article, i want to know meaning of this sentence.? At first, i'm studying English, and it is the problem.
This is news article about Lindsey Lohan, and here it goes.
BEVERLY HILLS (AP) -- A warrant is out for the arrest of actress Lindsey Lohan in connection with a DUI case from May 2007, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department.
The Beverly Hills Superior Court issued the warrant carrying a $50,000 bail on Friday.
Beverly Hills Police Department spokesman Lt. Mark Rosen would not provide details as to why it was issued, only saying, "It is our hope that Ms. Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter can be resolved in a timely manner."
Police have not contacted the actress, Sgt. Mike Foxen said.
Lohan pleaded guilty or no contest to DUI and cocaine charges after she crashed her Mercedes into a tree in Beverly Hills in 2007 and two months later chased the mother of an acquaintance into Santa Monica in an SUV.
She could go to jail if she violates any terms of her three-year probation, such as failing to have a drug test or meet with her probation officer.
Calls Saturday to Lohan's publicist and lawyer weren't immediately returned. !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
i marked a sentence '!?!?!?!?', and that's my question.
'Calls' means phone call? so, journalist calls Lohan's publicist and lawyer on Saturday but they didn't answer?
or something else?
and Addition, please show me alternative sentence of The marked one above.
help me, and Luck be with you~
Myself replied: "It means the publicist and lawyer did not call them back very quickly.
"Calls to the publicist and lawyer were not replied to immediately.""
W H replied: "Calls Saturday to Lohan's publicist and lawyer weren't immediately returned. !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Calls in this context is telephone calls
Calls Saturday should read....Calls made on Saturday to....
Weren't immediately returned is NOT the same as not answered....It means the caller had to wait for some unspecified time until phone-call had been returned,
Calls made on Saturday to Lohan's Publicist and Lawyer weren't immediately returned.
Telephone calls that were made on Saturday to the Publicist and The Lawyer of Miss Lohan were unsuccessful, There was a delay before they both returned phone-calls."
ok this is a bit of fun what nationality are you funny or true? TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
3.a. You can legally kill yourself
3.b. You can legally be killed
4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital...
6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
10.Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country.
3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
4. You are either
4.a. Like the Dutch, just less efficient
4.b. Like the French, just less romantic
4.c. Like the Germans
5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.
6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares.
9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders.
10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just @!#$ in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a president without electing him.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth with condom on.
TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24-hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly spacious.
9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
10. You can actually get bored with blondes.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. Beats being Welsh.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH
1. You ain't English!
2. You ain't English!
3. You ain't English!
4. You ain't English!
5. You ain't English!
6. You ain't English!
7. You ain't English!
8. You ain't English!
9. You ain't English!
10. You ain't English!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior to 400AD.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bull's testicles.
9. Gibraltar.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Ok, give them a second chance
1. Oktoberfest.
2. Okotberfest-beer.
3. BMW.
4. VW.
5. Audi.
6. Mercedes.
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Madras.
2. Lamb Passanda.
3. Onion Bhaji.
4. Bombay Potato.
5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
6. Rogan Josh.
7. Popadoms.
8. Chicken Dopiasa
9. Kingfisher lager.
10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don't agree with.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings soar.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great grand dad was a murdering bar steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager.
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing.
3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around retching their stomach contents up at the sight.
4. Old women can sport moustaches.
5. Young women can sport moustaches.
6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo.
7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture.
8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it.
9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.
Luck Dragon (UK) replied: "ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh"
lucylocket7258 replied: "I am an american . . . .and all this stuff is true, but up against all the others, I would still rather be an american. . .."
anna replied: "hahahahaha"
Irish Heather replied: "I am Irish. Very funny. lol"
Crystal_Cutter replied: "i like it its funny. i have somehting similar but dont have access to it at work. but also hilarious"
jun replied: "under italian:
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
is this true???!!! ew."
lisa replied: "hey be fair to the welsh they do have some great mountains........ & sheep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol!!!!!!!
Thought that was really funny (with some truth in it)
I'm English & proud of it!!!
Have a star!!!!"
Abu replied: "That's hilarious! ROFL! I'm an Indian living in Australia and food and beer aren't the only things that rule the country... or are they?"
Shubho replied: "really good one..the one to save..
heres a star.."
lisakenny_xo replied: "I'm Irish......and i LOVED dat!! Haha!!
btw.....dont want 2 diss off sum o ur answers.....but d pubs do close.....at lyk 2/3am...... =(
LOL tho!"
Kayla F. replied: "LOL
LONG!!!!!!!!!!!"
Georgia replied: "Hahaha, excellent, thanks, star."
Ali replied: "LOL Very good!"
Josie replied: "Welsh and i am going to get you for that
lol"
Babette replied: "Buddy these were TOO FUNNIE!!!
LOL!!!!
:)"
poppy1 replied: "Hi Chris,
I am Irish which you know and I Love that the pubs never close.. The Greeks are all so True and the Men do look like grizzle Bear Hair all over.. All were True here's A Star for You..
A Friend,
poppy1"
fubar replied: "TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
And what exactly is wrong with the Welsh?!
1. Surrounded by wonderful countryside without being in the middle of nowhere!
2. You can basically do what you like cos God knows the police are far to corrupt to care lol
3. People are alway saying we are sheep sh*ggers so if you do end up with a sheep, no-one is shocked lol
4. We beat the English in the Rugby!!! Woop!!
5. Our National Anthem is known in both English and Welsh!
6. We are a country with 3 main languages, English, Welsh, and one we make up as we go along with a mixture of both - Wenglish lol
7. Drugs are as easily obtainable here as in Amsterdam!
8. Free NHS, prescriptions etc
9. Welsh whisky is the best, Johnny Depp never complained!
10. Our flag is the oldest in history!
Mae Cymru am byth!!! Wales is the best!!!"
DorothyGale replied: "Lesbianese.
Ok, not really, I like men."
JAM123 replied: "Ha ha ha.!!!
These are Excellent Chris.!!!
10/10.!!!
Made my day with a good laugh mate.!!!
Cheers.!!"
Tinkerbell replied: "I thought it was kinda funny ... Being a Belgian, most of them are true. Nr 1 is only true if you live in the french speaking part LOL. 5 is very true, especially the beer part And about nr 6, some others have heard of Belgium but seem to think it's a German province"
" The Butcher" my new story , your thought? The Butcher : 10/23/09
Austin Johnson, 46 years old man who's been suffering from Dissociative identity disorder ever since his parents were killed in a traffic accident. Johnson saw them standing on the edge of the sidewalk waiting for a ride to stop, until a glossy - black Mercedes got pulled over for careless driving. An officer that stood on the intersection in the entrance of the city adjusted the traffic and allowed Johnson parents to cross the road after 45 minutes of waiting. While crossing it, a limousine that appeared to be owned by the mafia, passed so fast in the opposite direction which caused it to push them a few meters away from the road. The driver looked back to see what happened but he didn't want to get out as the police might arrest him so he drove off. The policeman noticed the parents some seconds after the limousine had left and called the ambulance with trying to vitalize them, that was too late, a bit later than expected that there was no choice but announcing a death. Austin thought it'd been a plan of the mafia to avenge his father, he knew his father had a doubt past but he never imagined he would end up bleeding hopelessly on the road. Those views got him to change his perspective, when some civilians die for peace and serenity without asking things in return, the rest of them enjoy killing innocent people as a part of the job and make money out of it, while the others lose it all. Austin was 7 at the time but those aspects keep chasing him. "If the essence of my being is life, why should I die to let the others exist?", the reality told him the wrong meaning of what he really is, with the ambition to find a true happiness…
To Be Continued....
ALISON H replied: "Dire...."
PiNKJAM replied: "It's not really a "story".
It's sounds more like a was reading a newpaper article."
The Introduction Of My New Story , Let Me Know What You Think About It? The Butcher : 10/23/09
Austin Johnson, 46 years old man who's been suffering from Dissociative identity disorder ever since his parents were killed in a traffic accident. Johnson saw them standing on the edge of the sidewalk waiting for a ride to stop, until a glossy - black Mercedes got pulled over for careless driving. An officer that stood on the intersection in the entrance of the city adjusted the traffic and allowed Johnson parents to cross the road after 45 minutes of waiting. While crossing it, a limousine that appeared to be owned by the mafia, passed so fast in the opposite direction which caused it to push them a few meters away from the road. The driver looked back to see what happened but he didn't want to get out as the police might arrest him so he drove off. The policeman noticed the parents some seconds after the limousine had left and called the ambulance with trying to vitalize them, that was too late, a bit later than expected that there was no choice but announcing a death. Austin thought it'd been a plan of the mafia to avenge his father, he knew his father had a doubt past but he never imagined he would end up bleeding hopelessly on the road. Those views got him to change his perspective, when some civilians die for peace and serenity without asking things in return, the rest of them enjoy killing innocent people as a part of the job and make money out of it, while the others lose it all. Austin was 7 at the time but those aspects keep chasing him. "If the essence of my being is life, why should I die to let the others exist?", the reality told him the wrong meaning of what he really is, with the ambition to find a true happiness…
To Be Continued....
P.S : there's still no connection between the title and the content .. it will be showed later
Eros <3 replied: "in the last sentence you said 'showed'.
i dont really intend to sound like an uptight moron, but it's 'shown'"
LK replied: "1. You need a verb in the first sentence. "Is" will work.
2. In my opinion, this is too much information for an introduction.
Why not simply write Austin saw his parents die in a hit-and-run accident when he was seven? You can include Austin associated it with the Mafia because he knew his father had a 'doubtful' (not "doubt") past.
3. It seems a pretty long stretch to imagine anyone waiting forty-five minutes to cross a road. Would you wait that long? Why have the police there, by the way?
4. Grammar, punctuation and more (run-on sentences and the like) need revision here.
5. Don't worry much about revising.
All good writers do many revisions.
It's almost a mantra: "Revise, revise, revise."
It takes time and effort to get an introduction to work well.
Good luck on this.
If you enjoy books on how to write, Stephen King's book "On Writing" is good.
Many are, but King is very well-known and a good writer himself.
If you're an English major and/or already know many English terms, owning a copy of "Strunk and White: The Elements of Style" is a must.
One rule in it I can tell you now: "Omit unneeded words."
It's a good rule."
More Sites
YouTube - Police Chase | Mercedes C-Klass vs. VW Golf R32 ...
Dutch police (Golf R32) chase a stolen Mercedes-Benz C-Klasse. ... police chase pursuit holland the netherlands europe volvo 70 mercedes benz vw ...
Article: Carjack Suspects Crash On Rt. 24; State, Brockton Police C...
Register today for a free trial, credit card req'd. Find The Patriot Ledger Quincy, MA articles plus many other academic journal articles, magazine articles & newspape...
YouTube - Police Chase | Mercedes-Benz | Holland
Police follow a Mercedes who is involved whit drugs. ... police pursuit chase mercedes benz crash politie achtervolging wegmisbruikers ...
Police Chase | Mercedes C-Class | The Netherlands - Car ...
Dutch police (Golf R32) chase a stolen Mercedes-Be - StreetFire ... 4clicks from:http://video.google.co.jp/videosearch?q=police+chase&hl=ja&aq=2&oq=pol ice ...
Police Chase: Rambo Osmanovic Killed After Stealing Father's ...
<p>A teenage joyrider has been killed after stealing and crashing his father's powerful Mercedes in a high-speed police chase.</p>
Mercedes police arrest suspected auto thieves after brief ...
News: Mercedes police arrest suspected auto thieves after brief chase | police, mercedes, arrest, chase, evading, theft, expected, charged, maldonado, trailer
Teen joyrider killed after crashing his father's Mercedes ...
... after crashing his father's powerful Mercedes while being pursued by police. ... Teen joyrider killed after crashing his father's Mercedes during police chase ...
Weslaco police chase ends with crash : News : KGBT 4
A police chase has ended with a three-car wreck off U.S. Expressway 83 between Weslaco and Mercedes. ... 4Web. Weslaco police chase ends with crash ...
Second suspect involved in police-car crash is arrested ...
... connection with a wild police chase that involved the shooting of ... Hernandez was driving a stolen white Mercedes-Benz with police in pursuit on Tuesday. ...
Teen steals Mercedes, crashes it in chase, then steals plane
He jumped from a stolen Mercedes he was driving during a police chase, letting it crash into a grocery store while he disappeared into the woods, laughing at his ...
Related
mercedes police chase,
lexus december remember,
carter subaru,
craigslist porsche turbo,
used dodge trucks orlando,
mitsubishi xd 110,
volvo v50 hitch,
volkswagen golf 2.0 avantgarde convertible,
hemels chevrolet,
natural gas ford f150,
san francisco bay area bmw dealers
Mercedes Police Chase © 2009